By Nicole

Ending 2012 dancing to Wii with the "kids"... Feeling a little proud of myself for being the only parent crazy enough to join in!

I had constructed this grandiose idea in my mind of a wonderful, witty December, full of intelligent, positive, and heartwarming posts all wrapped in twine and marshmallows bouncing around the blogsphere and showing everyone in cyberspace what fun my life and work were.... that it didn't feel like work at all and that I would never let crazy things like horrific run-on sentences past my editor's eye and into the great unknown. And you can all tell how great that went! Life happened and my grand idea came crashing down.  Not only did most of my blog posts suck (I know, negative self talk=bad), but they all felt like work and were rarely more than a blip. We lost our neighbor and two elders from my work community  in less than three weeks' time, and  we found ourselves hurting and helping and hoping for better days.  Comforting friends and neighbors, hugging coworkers, writing cards and praying incessantly won out over being a cheerful and positive Elf 4 Health ....

As far as the eye can see...

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 Found this at http://www.incourage.me/ (and in the Bible!). What a perfect verse for right now.

Still chasing my tail!  Trying to catch up, but feeling more positive.  So far, the Christmas spirit hasn't gotten me down or freaking out.  (Check out posts from last year!  I lost it there for a bit.)  I am relaxed and not stressing about things that don't get done.  It's not about the stuff anyways! Off to bed.  Tomorrow is an early morning run, and I need some sleep!

Mmmmmmm

No really.  I was supposed to do a great, long, legible post tonight.  Instead, I was sidetracked gluing sequins and bits of hay and more sequins and cedar and rocks and sequins to my Nativity door hanging.  My fingers are burnt because sequins are small and hard to place with hot glue. I don't necessarily want to win the door decorating contest as much as I want my artwork to be a representation of what I believe... but so far this thing is pretty awesome.  Maybe even worthy of a win. I also don't want to be conceited. Besides, the judges will probably say that it is much too sparkly for a Nativity.  Blasted sequins....

It might be awhile before I really write about this. This is another day where I sporadically and randomly want to burst into tears.  But because life is busy, I have to hold it in most days all day long. It's hard to process a loss.  My heart hurts.  It's the time of year where we should all be able to celebrate the gift of LIFE not have to mourn the loss of one. It's hard to have to try and help your kids learn to mourn... to see their hurt and confusion and sadness when we have to tell them that our friend and neighbor  has passed away. It's hard to worry about those who witnessed and tried to save.  Those who feel angry and helpless, who keep wondering why. It's hard to work up the courage to offer comfort to a widow when you don't have the words and know you might break down too. It's too hard to write this right now.

Only one of three might have a fractured wrist.  Yay for long evenings in the ER.

I am thankful for this life and my family.  Things have been hectic and awful lately.  I can't even write it all down yet.  But even in the sorrow, I will find reasons to be thankful, and I will press into God for His joy.

I've never done a Two Things Tuesday post: 1.  I don't think a meal plan post is going to get done this week.  That's just how the cookie is crumbling this week. 2.  My favorite kinds of Christmas trees are the ones full of paper and yarn ornaments.  A little crooked, a little sparse.  Unevenly decorated.  Filled with love and memories.

Meal Plan Monday is postponed until Tuesday.  It might take me longer to toe type.  I'm so excited to run in my new socks! Tomorrow is steak and mushrooms, Brussels sprouts, and a huge salad with homemade dressing!

This is my first "real" post of NaBloPoMo.  Between the regular busyness of the holiday season, I have also joined the Elf 4 Health challenge and the 100 Mile Challenge, so I have a lot of computer/life activities to keep up on!  So far I am not overwhelmed.  I am even in the  Christmas spirit early this year... that's not normal for  me.  We decorated half of our Christmas tree today, and I already have some shopping done.  That's record breaking.  When the kids' outfits come in the mail, we will do pictures and Christmas cards. Other blogging to-dos are some book and shoe reviews, meal planning and drafts to finish that have been waiting in the wings for too long. Jason came home with three deer to cut and wrap.  He does most of the work, but washing and  wrapping/vacuum sealing are my jobs.  That and following behind his cleanup with rags and a bottle of Clorox! Between the challenges and life, I also have a lot going on at...

My new trail shoes are here!  Starting December with new kicks!