Tuesday, February 26, 2013
A few weeks ago a coworker forwarded this video and article to me. I read the article and tonight I watched the video. The video isn't exactly as "deep" as I thought it would be when discussing friendships and their influence, but it is a really interesting article.
The last few days "friendship" has been on my mind. My pattern of friendship is to have one or two super close friends at certain points in my life. Once we are friends, we are always friends. No matter how long we've known each other, whether we talk once a day or once a year, it's like we haven't been apart at all. Some of my dearest friends aren't that type. They are wildly social, making friends with everyone. Charismatic and comfortable, they can bond with anyone and maintain a multitude of casual friends. It doesn't make them nervous to introduce themselves or strike up conversation.
It makes me nervous just thinking about it. I have stress over meeting up with one or two people, let alone inviting a crowd to dinner or planning mini-reunions on a regular basis. My circle of friends really is small, and I hardly open up to anyone about the major things in my life.
This morning, I opened my Bible up to Samuel 1 where Johnathon and David are working out how to keep David away from Saul long enough to figure out whether he's going to kill David or not. Johnathon, Saul's son, risks everything for his bosom buddy, David. Their friendship is one of the most powerful friendships portrayed in the Bible. From the moment they met, they knew that they were soul mates, so to speak. Closer than brothers. How many of us have a friend like that?
Sometimes I will meet someone that I really, secretly, want to be friends with. I wouldn't spy on them sleeping or put a tracer app on their phone, but I just feel like we could be really awesome friends. That is, if I could work up the courage to ask them to be my friend. Except there aren't any grown ups I know that do that. Instead you have to be cool and go for coffee or set up a play date, hoping that you'll meet up more often and eventually hit "friend" status. More stressful than dating, I think.
Recently, I have been brave enough to meet a new friend that I absolutely adore. I can't tell her that yet, because she might freak out. But I am happy because I put myself out there, and she didn't laugh at me or politely decline my invitation to go for a run together.
This is not normal for me. I usually don't go out making new friends. I'm happy with the ones I have, and it's easy to use motherhood as a reason for not socializing more often. But, lately... friendship has been on my mind because God is telling me that I need to start befriending others. Women who are new to the area who don't have close friends to have coffee with. Women who are searching for someone to invite them to church and sit with them when they don't know anyone else. Women whose kids need friends for a play date. Instead of friendships being about me and my comfort level, I'm supposed to step out of my comfort zone, swallow my fear of rejection and introduce myself, share a phone number, set up a play date.
It would have been easier to ignore this, if I hadn't had one, but two, opportunities to do this very thing today. Sometimes God doesn't wait for me to get comfortable with His plans for me. He likes to chuck me straight in the deep end every once in a while.
How do you approach friendships?
Can anyone relate to me? If you don't struggle in this area, what advice do you have for me?
Is there anything you feel God is asking from you?