Thinky Thursday (an idea stolen from I can't remember who... and when I do I will link them)

I underwent a unique version of mostly unconstructive criticism today.  Please don't be alarmed.  It happens on at least an annual basis.  But I would like to pose a question to you all:

How do you respond to criticism? 

How would you respond if you had to endure, in the place of someone else, criticism and complaints that were out of your control and not your fault?

What would you do if you couldn't respond at all?



Okay, fine... it's a series of questions.  And again, I really am fine.  But I would love to hear everyone's answers!!

Comments

  1. Taylor @ Pink Heels Pink TruckJanuary 19, 2012 at 10:12 PM

    I don't like criticism when it comes in the form of an attack and I tend to find myself quickly on the defensive front in this type of situation. If it's given to me in a loving way or caring way, I'm more likely to sit there and listen and ask questions. I don't like to make the same mistake twice, so I try really hard to accept the comments when I do, so that I don't repeat the same thing again.
    Now, if I was receiving criticism that was actually supposed to be directed at someone else, I would let the person rant and then kindly smile at them and walk away (as hard as it would be, I'd have to bite my tongue not to attack right back for no reason other than they had no reason to attack the wrong person being me.) or I guess you could smile and say, I appreciate you being upset (or I'm so sorry, my dear, that you are having a bad day), but I have no idea what you are talking about and I do hope you feel better by getting all of that off your chest and then turn and walk away.

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    1. NicoleJanuary 20, 2012 at 9:24 PM

      Criticism in the form of an attack is probably the worst feeling, although I think I recover from that more quickly than serious constructive criticism sometimes. You're right on about just letting them rant. Thank you for your input!

      Delete
  2. Julie DeMilleJanuary 20, 2012 at 8:12 AM

    I have to admit, I don't do well with criticism. But, I've learned that I need to take time,and not think about it. Then, go back and think about it again to find the constructiveness in it. If it's constructive. Otherwise, it simmers inside for quite a while.

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    1. NicoleJanuary 20, 2012 at 9:25 PM

      Simmering is the worst. I try really hard to allow people to vent their frustrations and take a break before we go back and dissect everything. You sometimes have to look for the constructiveness, just like you said. Thank you!

      Delete
  3. JudyJanuary 20, 2012 at 12:34 PM

    I tend to cry! I've struggled with self-esteem issues my whole life. so depending on who it is and what it is about, I either close up or walk away. Which is really bad, especially if it's an employer - haha. But once I'm out of the situation, I will think about what's been said and try to figure out if it's valid and something I need to try to improve on.

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    1. NicoleJanuary 20, 2012 at 9:27 PM

      Aren't tears of frustration the worst? I have really had to work on that in my life too. You are smart to make sure that what is being said is even valid. It's a lot easier to shake off things that we know aren't true about ourselves. It's hard to make sure we don't start believing those bad things about ourselves too, huh? Thank you for your feedback!

      Delete
  4. Masked MomJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:57 AM

    I worked in an environment of pretty much constant icky, picky criticism for 10 years. At first, I just did a lot of simmering, but then I started standing up for myself and at some point the balance of power shifted and we both realized my boss would pretty mcuh be lost without me so I could say or do pretty much anything. I didn't always handle myself in ways that I'm proud of.

    I've been in a different work environment for almost three years now and it's still a refreshing change.

    I think I try to look at the intention of the person doing the criticizing. If it truly seems to be coming from a constructive, caring place, I can handle it a little better (still not a fan). But like Judy, I let my own insecurities cloud my judgment sometimes. I do tend to get defensive or at least try to explain myself even when I feel the person is really trying to help.

    As for taking criticism that rightly belongs to someone else--that's a sticky situation I have been in on more than one occasion. I will usually send the person in the correct direction, if I'm able to get a word in edgewise. I am not really the type to stand there and be yelled AT for someone else's mistakes. Now, if someone is just yelling TO me (venting) it's a different story, I guess.

    And I can definitely identify with being in a situation where responding is not possible or, at the very least, ill-advised. What happens then is a lot of shouting that stays inside my head--probably echoing around in there for a good long time--until I can vent to someone close to me or scribble it out in a journal entry I will later probably regret.

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    1. NicoleJanuary 24, 2012 at 10:42 PM

      It's all sticky isn't it? I'm glad I am not in a constantly critical environment, but even the bad days can wear someone down. Oh, and thank you for leaving the longest comment ever in my blog history. If I had determined a prize for that, you would have won! :)

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