Friday, January 20, 2012

A Live: The Musical

When I was a teenager, I was very hardheaded and rebellious.  Kind of an insidious rebellious, I was a sneakily defiant, naive, lying, Jiminy Cricket-squashing brat.  I always secretly felt guilty... but like a hardening heart, the voice of my conscience grew steadily quieter and quieter.  When I was a bit older, I could silence the occasional roar with a good solid flow of alcohol.

Okay, well I am getting ahead of myself... well... completely off track. 

Back to sneakiness.  It started with the gateway activities of chewing tobacco, music and cusswords.  Then I started smoking and listening to music with cusswords in it.  Gasp. 

Back then, BMG was really big. You could order 10 free CDs if you signed up for the monthly offer for a year or something like that.  So I signed my life away.  For a teen working a part-time, minimum wage job, having to throw down 20 bucks for the newest hit CD was a big deal.  Why do that when you could get 10 for FREE?!

One of my first bundle contained the wonderful albums of Bush, Greenday, Stone Temple Pilots, Live and SevenMaryThree, complete with cusswords, drug references and the overall rebellious vibe of alternative music.  I was in heaven, until my mom took a trip into my room and read the lyrics.  She had already made it clear that the kind of music I was listening to wasn't allowed in the house, so while I was gone one day, she threw them all away. 

Now, don't get me wrong.  I love my mom, and I am totally over this whole episode.  Retrospectively, as an adult and parent now, I understand why she made the choices she did, and I wish I had done a whole load of things differently as a teenager.  We didn't communicate well.  She was scared (I think) for me and didn't know what else to do. 

I, of course, continued to be sneaky and rebellious.  I went out and bought the CDs that I really wanted the most again.  And eventually my mom gave up, because I had an extensive record collection of completely inappropriate music by the time I had finished my third or fourth fling with BMG and was off to college.  I still have most of those CDs which I rarely listen to but keep in a huge black CD case.  Every once in a while, when I am alone in the car, I throw one in. 

Now I am spoiled and have Pandora on my phone, which I listen to while I am running on the treadmill.  Today I chose the 90's alternative station and relived the glory days and memories of highschool while I circled the virtual neon track.   When Live played, I smiled.  And I paid closer attention to the lyrics.


  1. In high school, my sister (the rebellious one) had an AC/DC album (this totally dates me) and I thought it was awful, so in a self-righteous rant, I broke it in two. She still brings it up and teases me about it. Not sure if she ever listens to AC/DC now.

    1. It's funny isn't it? There are some of my CDs that I never listen to, and then there are those that have so many memories, I probably will always keep them and listen occasionally. I am just thankful that I am a different person now than I was then. My sister probably would have broken my CDs too if she hadn't been scared of me (I am the oldest).

  2. I was horrible at the rebellion thing. Horrible. My parents were pretty liberal and laid back so it would've been difficult to really push their limits in any case, but I was just a chicken. I still kind of am.

    Though I will say my mother and I once got in an argument about Boy George (speaking of dating ourselves, Jewels). I didn't even own any of his albums (which would've been on vinyl or cassette--didn't see my first CD until I was 18), but was watching a video of his on MTV when my mother made some comment about the way he dressed and I launched into a rant about how his clothing had nothing to do with his talent, etc, etc, etc. It's funny the things we can get into a huff about--especially under the influence of adolescence.

  3. Haha. I have ONE mix tape (cassette) that a friend made for me that I haven't gotten rid of. CDs started getting big when I was in highschool... before then they were too expensive. I had to save all my babysitting money one summer to afford to buy my own CD player. You didn't miss anything by not being rebellious... except maybe regrets!