Uh oh... I am dropping off the face of the blogsphere. I read a post of mine a few weeks ago about how I hoped that at some point in time there would be a time where there wasn't a lag between posts. This lag isn't near as bad as the hiatuses I have inadvertently taken before... but that's how it starts.
Anyway, disclaimer done.
This last week we had an emotional and amazing night of Bible study. I held it in again... only crying a little. If you know me, you know I am like that. But, the topic really got me to thinking. We are doing the Beth Moore David: Seeking a Heart Like His study, and I am loving it. (Sadly, I have missed two of the four nights because of travel for work, although I caught up on the videos this weekend. On a completely shallow note, I love to see what she wears. I couldn't stop checking out Beth's boots in section 4... still trying to figure who made them...).
Okay, back on track again. Week 5 was about relationships. Beth talked about how we, as Christians, should pattern our relationships after Christ. He modeled Christian relationships for us (of course!). Imagine the Earth, or a jawbreaker, sliced in half. From our innermost circle to the outermost circle, Christ modeled who should be in each circle and the priority.
To summarize... the outermost circle is the world. We are to be witnesses to all the world. As Christians, we should care for and pray for and witness to the everyone we are in contact with - think globally and locally. Anyone who isn't a Christian is in the world and should be of concern to us.
Just inside of the world is the "72" - the church. Our church body, fellow Christians should be the ones we have a service relationship with. We work with them to edify, serve and worship. We might not be super close to them all, but we are brothers and sisters in Christ. The people who followed Jesus but weren't as close to Him as the 12 disciples are in this group.
Move in closer... and you have the "12" - your small group, those who disciple one another. Think Bible study, Sunday School class, home group. This is a crucial group... Jesus had his disciples. We need those who we can lean on, be accountable to, and learn with.
Closer still, the "3". Jesus had Peter, James and John. Those were the three who He invited to the Garden of Gethsemane to keep watch, who saw Him raise Jairus' daughter, and who were with Him when He revealed Himself as the Son of God. None of them were perfect, they all screwed up somewhere along the line, but they loved Him and were devoted to Him. They knew Him better than anyone else on Earth. They were the three that He was the most transparent with.
Most importantly, you should have "1" - God Alone. He should be the closest to you. Do you keep Him with you all day. Is He an integral part of your life? Is He the one you are the most intimate with? Remember, He knows it all anyway. And He created us to be in relationship with Him. We won't be happy unless we have Him in our life.
I have to admit, I don't always put God first. But I am getting better... But I didn't struggle with that part of my life during this study. It was the "3" that hit me upside the head. I am the kind of person who has always only had one or two super close friends at any point in my life. And I keep in touch with almost all of them to this day... you know, Facebook, email, texts, maybe a phone conversation once a year and a trip for a big life event, like a wedding. But, big surprise, not many of them are Christians now... I don't have that part of my life in common with them.
So who are my "3"? Yikes... Who am I entirely transparent with? Beth wasn't clear if we could count husbands... and a part of me feels like husbands are separate. So, do I have three close friends who are Christians that I can call anytime and trust with anything?
No, I guess I don't. That makes me sad. I have plenty of casual, wish we could spend more time together, share when we have a chance, Christian girlfriends. But only maybe one that I have committed to growing with and praying for and checking in with. And only one in our Bible study. Not sure I can walk up to one of my other girlfriends and ask her if she wants to be in my "3" club. Ooh, maybe I will make friendship bracelets with a "3" bead in them and only hand them out to those I deem worthy to know my junk and pray for me. Okay, now I am being cynical.
For now, I am going to focus on God and praying about the women He wants in my life. And not in a Sister Wives kind of way (haha, different blog for later - but currently a running joke). Part of me knows that it is because I don't open up and put myself out there. I just can't handle that kind of rejection. And sometimes, I just can't handle that kind of socialization.
Have you given this any thought? Who are your three? Are you copping out or selling yourself short? Are you super lucky and surrounded by wonderful women who love you dearly? I want to hear. I need some moral support in this area.