Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Of Pink Boots and Pent-up Frustrations - Originally written November 26, 2006

Where to start. Over the course of the past four months I have done two entirely unrelated things (I have also done LOTS more unrelated stuff - like deep clean my refrigerator, clean, grind, cut and wrap 70 lbs of deer meat (with Jason ), sew a merman tail and learn to make cedar roses - but those are not part of this particular story).
So the two things... begin my Christmas shopping super early (in order to avoid stress, relax and enjoy the Reason for the Season) AND slowly let frustrations regarding events mostly beyond my control pile up and stress me out until I sometimes want to scream and run down the street pulling my hair and basically making a complete fool of myself. Soooo, all stress that would have been relieved by Christmas shopping early, has now multiplied much beyond what it ever would have been EVEN if I had waited until Christmas Eve and marathon shopped.
Every night and every weekend I have told myself - now is the time to relax, let it go, in the grand scheme of life - what you are stressing about DOES NOT MATTER. In fact, you are not supposed to become bitter and frustrated! OMMMMM.. I pray, I vent, I try to remove myself from the situation, I pray more... And on the weekends I go to PA - or wherever and keep my super thrifty eyes out for any Christmas presents to be snatched up EARLY. I keep a list, I check it twice, I go shopping on Ebay to try and find more deals. And here is where things get really fun.
THANKSGIVING! A four and a half day weekend. I need it so bad - I can decompress, enjoy my family... NOT shop because I am already almost DONE!! Woohoo! So I go on Ebay, ahh ah AAHHH - EEE Bayyyyy.... (That part is to music, folks, think Little Mermaid/ Madame Blueberry). I love Ebay.
I find the funkiest boots ever for my dear shoe loving sister - I think, okay heels are a little high, especially NOW (you know dear sis) - but they are funky. She will like them! So I bid... and slowly wait. I send her a random question regarding shoe color preference (these sweet boots happen to be pink). She doesn't reply, time is running down. I nonchalantly give her a call. She casually says - oh, I don't really need boots... eww, pink?! But they're cool, I say... (I've been caught up in the game - I want to win, those are MY boots!) I can't pressure her into them.... Besides, she says, I am looking for shoes with a lower heel these days. Bugger. So I am outbid; I should be relieved. A sick part of me bids just .50 higher - just to raise the price for the phantom bidder - out to do ME harm, of course. I'm outbid again! My sister laughs. Watch out, you might win them and then be stuck with them! I am now caught up in the moment, invincible, yet sure I will be outbid and successfully have made the phantom's price higher. Ack! Now I'm the highest bidder with 8 minutes left. Oh for crying out loud! I win the boots. The present my sister shunned I now have to pay twice the price I intended and wear them myself... I am torn - they are super funky, like nothing I would ever wear - yet wish I would. I envision my shoe tastes changing. I will now be the cool, funky lady with hot shoes. Cool funky ladies with hot shoes have little time or care for stress, maybe I will become carefree!
Uggh - my sister is still presentless and I have new boots, right during the time of year when it should not be about me. I am forced to justify this ridiculous purchase... So, I've thought about it a lot. I've compared it with my other stressors, and I have come to the conclusion, that, in the grand scheme of life, it really won't matter if I own pink boots or not. Maybe these pink boots will be magical, and I can click my heels and go home! (If so, I know where I'll be wearing them) In fact, there's no point in stressing about it... I have allowed myself to do enough of that already!

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