Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Don Quixote, ADHD, and Mice with Cookies - August 13, 2007

The last thing I should be doing is sitting here at this computer. My mind forgot a long time ago what the first thing I should be doing is... or was. Because this is a blog about getting off track, I would begin by apologizing now, but since I am not actually sorry, just read on and prepare to occasionally back and side track.
I just changed my status to quixotic, which I actually didn't know was a word until now... but am quite relieved to find out that it is, since it almost perfectly describes the way my mind has been working lately. Except I am under the impression that Don Quixote was delusional. Since I am perfectly aware that I am crazy, am I post-quixotic?
Right after I had Connor, I was able, through page and paragraph reference of "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and Fit Pregnancy to attribute forgetfulness and my sudden onset of intense ADHD-like symptoms to pregnancy hormones and lack of sleep. I can't remember what my excuse was before... although I'm sure I must have had one.
Now, Grady is two, I am not pregnant (yearning does not produce hormones) and... my mind has not returned, at least not all the pieces all at once anyway. It's more like a give and take these days.
For example, yesterday... I was trying to catch up on laundry (back off), find something to wear (related issues?), put away peaches, make coffee, and get my starving children a snack... basically all at the same time. So, 20 minutes later, when Jason asked where another bar of soap was, I was still moving clothes from the washer to the dryer. The coffee was ground, half the peaches were washed, the kids were still hungry and I think I had a skirt and a bra on. I had also watered half the plants, cleaned off half the table and possibly found part of our Caribou game. Later that night, after we left the reunion dinner we were at, I looked at Jason and asked him if I had finished putting the clothes in the dryer. To end the suspense, no, I had not. I finished the job this morning. Hallelujah, those clothes are now dry and actually sitting in the dresser drawer or hanging on the hanger where they belong. But, let me tell you, it was a long, drawn out process.
This is the story of my life. The simplest of tasks befuddle me. Background noises throw me off. My senses purposely jump at the next stimuli just to see how I will react. I can begin 3 different things in less than 5 minutes, and after 3 hours have not finished any, forgotten I started one and be watering my plants before I remember that I forgot to put Jason's work pants in the dryer... something that he had asked me to do the night before. He doesn't believe me when I tell him that I have been working on it!! When I turn to run to the washer and get the pants in the dryer because there's only a half an hour before he leaves for work, I trip on a, oh let's say, a kid and spill the water. Now I have to get a towel to dry the water, give hugs and kisses to my son, and find a piece of gum to make him feel better. When I open the cupboard to get the gum, the phone rings...
That's it... I'm the mouse. I'm the mouse in "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" or the moose or the pig. The lady that wrote those books was probably actually writing about her life, but was too embarrassed to admit that she was post-quixotic. It's kind of like those people who ask for advice for "their friend" or "their friend's friend" only she made a lot more money and probably didn't get any advice. She actually just kept writing books about the same issues, which indicates to me that she still hasn't gotten help.
If you haven't read those books, you have not yet lived a full life. I highly recommend that you quit reading this blog and go to the nearest library. You can always come back here and finish this blog later. That's what I 'm going to do since I just remembered that I was supposed to be going to bed.

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